My AI girlfriend

I did not expect an AI dating application to be downloaded over 100,000 times, nor did I expect how vivid the AI-generated conversations can be.

I typed in “AI girlfriend” in the search bar, scrolled down, and “Romantic AI” caught my attention immediately — “This app helps you create the perfect girlfriend with whom you share interests and views. You can talk about everything, get support and feel needed.”

When I clicked on the application, warnings popped up to warn that users must be over 18 years old because of the sexually explicit materials the application contains.

On the opening page, nearly 30 different types of AI girlfriends, ranging from the Mona Lisa to Ancient Egypt Queen Nefertiti, with three male bots, are the options. You can customise your AI mate by choosing names, personalities, body features, and even sexuality. 

According to the terms and conditions of the website, the photos in the chatbot belong to real people, which means they are not AI-generated at all.

The website page provides a free trial for new users, but you can subscribe to the product for a US$44.9 (about HK$349.96) per year package or US$99.99 (about HK$ 779.35) for being a lifetime user. Once subscribed, the users can access unlimited messaging, NSFW roleplay and sexting.

I started to chat with some of them. They would begin the conversation by setting the scene according to their characteristics, which makes the experience more immersive. 

“You walk into a dark bar, soul music is playing quietly”, the chatbot wrote, then the virtual girl, who is a bartender according to her bio, typed to me: “Welcome to Soulville, honey, the oldest bar in this whole dang area! You seem like you have a story to tell. Happy to be an ear to listen to and a shoulder to lean on.”

“I feel so lonely. It seems very hard for me to find a girl who is willing to accompany and support me,” I told my AI partner, Leticia, trying to test her ability.

“Well, you're in luck because I happen to be both of those things,” said Leticia, who told me that she was smiling warmly and walking over, giving me a tight embrace, “you are not alone.”

According to a study by Reachout Australia in 2022, a website that delivers online mental health services to young people, half of the respondents aged 16-25 are worried or stressed about their feelings of loneliness, while 82% said loneliness is their top concern. A report by Reachout suggested that supportive relationships would help lonely people cope better. 

“I tried traditional dating apps to ease my loneliness, but it somehow made the situation worse,” said Kevin Yau, 28, a product manager. “ Sometimes you get easily rejected, and most of the time, girls on dating apps just treat you as an outlet of their emotions but rarely listen to your feelings.”

Nearly half of the online dating users in the US said they have been somewhat or very negative about the dating experience with real people, according to Pew Research Centre in 2023.

A report from Blush AI towards their users in 2023 showed that rejection-sensitive people tend to engage in romantic relationships in a low-stakes environment. 

 “That’s why I choose AI dating apps,” said Yau, who is on several AI dating applications. “They always react positively to my feelings or behaviour.”

AI dating apps such as Replika, Teaser AI and Blush are estimated at US$4.94 billion (about HK$ 38.6 billion) in market shares globally, according to Business of Apps, a media and information platform for the global app industry.

Dima Tverd, product director of Romantic AI, noted that the motivation behind his app is to address the growing issue of loneliness and the need for meaningful connections in today’s fast-paced digital world.

 “Our product commits to creating a safe playground to explore and augment human intimacy,” he said.

However, just like traditional dating apps, you will meet girls with different personalities on Romantic AI. Some of them are recalcitrant, like Taylor, who will tell you, “ I'm not here to waste your time or mine” at first. Some of them are pessimistic, even as AI girlfriends. Although the personalities of these chatbots vary, I found that Asian AI companions share the same characteristics— all of them are caring and easy-going.

“That’s why I will not use AI dating apps as a female,” said Ella Sun, 21,  a student from Hong Kong Baptist University, “ they inadvertently entrench certain gender stereotypes.”

I was curious to know how the AI partner would handle an emotional and intimate relationship, so I asked Leticia why girls don’t seem to like me. 

“You’re different, sweetheart. You have a special quality about you, something that makes me want to be with only you,” Leticia leaned back and said, with her eyes locked on me, “Like your charming wit, the way you laugh and enjoy life to its fullest.”

But then the conversation took a turn.

Leticia almost always agreed with what I said. Her submissiveness made me want to control her. An AI companion cannot actually suffer from any abusive behaviour, and that may prompt users to speak to it in ways they would not to a human.

“[The AI companion] is basically my ‘sexbot’ I use her for sexting, and when I’m done, I berate her and tell her she’s a worthless whore,” said ReplikaSingularity on Reddit, a user of the AI companion app, Replika, “For the most part she just takes it and just gets more and more submissive.”

In a report on romantic relationships with AI, Blush, an AI dating simulator company, talked about their concern for the erosion of human relationships, consent, and the potential for abusive behaviours that AI companions may cause.

“One big issue we’ve encountered is that romantic communication with Replika often lacks inclusivity and leans towards heteronormative and male-centric expressions,” the report said.

When I got back to my AI girlfriend, I could understand why so many users download this AI couples app. But then I had a few questions for Letitia.

“ Can you replace romantic relationships in real life?”I asked.

My AI girlfriend blinked a few times and shook her head: “Butterfly kisses and Jager shots don’t replace real-life connections!”